Decembers wish is having a fantastic debut on the charts :) I'm just having a moment of proud mummy author and including a few photos to celebrate the event! (In case it never happens again!)

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.At the going down of the sun and in the morning,We will remember them.




As beautifully, bitter sweet this verse is, and although we should remember the fallen, I think we also need remember the ones who came home-forever changed...
Lest we forget.
 

Answer: We all got together for a fabulous day!

Yep, it was that time of year again when the sleepy little village of Glenreagh hosts the massive Timber Festival. Thousands of people turned up again this year for a great day out filled with all things timber and lots, lots, more.

Thank you to all the lovely readers who dropped by to say hello. Congratulations to all the volunteers and committee too, you all did an amazing job and the day was a credit to you all!

The weather resembled a remarkable likeness to the setting of our morning venture today. Rourke and I went to the Macksville Cemetery to do a spot of reconnaissance in the on going search for the final resting place of my man, Alexander Mclean. For those of you who are not familiar with Alick, he's the real man behind the character in my December release.


To say this final piece of the circle is being stubbornly elusive would be an understatement! 

Newspaper reports of his funeral state that; "The remains of the late Alexander Thomas McLean were interred in the Presbyterian Cemetery at 11 o'clock on Friday morning in the presence of a large number of friends and relatives.."


His death certificate under the 'where and when buried', says he was buried in the Presbyterian cemetery, Macksville.  However there's no listing for Alexander Mclean in the cemetery records, and it is presumed that his grave is now unmarked.


Further complications arise due to cemetery records being removed from cemetery trustees in the 1960's and given to local councils to take over. This becomes a problem because when they took over and mapped out the cemetery the layout of various religious sections sometimes separated graves, placing grave sites in different religious sections, which only adds to the confusion when you're trying to search for a grave site that may or may not be in the area you think it's in.. in other words this unmarked grave could be anywhere!

Going back to the newspaper report of the funerals we know that ; The remains of the late Alexander McLean will be interred in the Church of England cemetery.

However, when we read the article printed the next day about the funerals we find this; 

"The Rev. J.H. Beynon, who read the burial service, said that he had been some thirty miles from Macksville the previous afternoon and evening and quite out of reach of the telephone. It had become necessary to dig another grave, and this had been done in the Presbyterian Cemetery without his authority. He had learnt this on arrival at Macksville half an hour since, and did not feel prepared to interfere now."

 So, now we discover that the grave for Alick had been dug in the Presbyterian section of the cemetery apparently by mistake...who knows why. On Alick's army records it states his religion as Church of England, so why he was given a Presbyterian funeral? who knows...maybe it had to do with the fact he had murdered poor Gertie and then committed suicide and his usual church reverent didn't want to conduct his funeral? Maybe it was just an oversight  and he was believed to have been Presbyterian? Whatever the reason, the only evidence we do have of him being buried, is from the newspaper report of the day, which says he was buried in the Presbyterian section of the cemetery. Due to his grave stone more than likely being a simple wooden cross, which over time would have most defiantly rotted away, his resting place is now lost.


To add even more variables to the situation, It was also rumored that due to the community being upset that Alick had been buried in consecrated ground, a group of his Army mates 'claimed his body and interned him' in an undisclosed place at the Eungai cemetery. Another rumored was that he was taken to be buried on the original Sutton property, who were his family in the area, although current family members strongly dispute this is the case and that as far as they are aware, Alexander Mclean is buried in the Macksville cemetery....which brings us back to the problem of having no idea where that actually is!


I'm so relieved that the local sub branch of the RSL is now actively involved in locating Alick's grave, in order to place a commemorative plaque to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of the great war on his grave site.Through my research I've learned that Alick was a very strong supporter of the RSL or the RSSILA as it was first known as, The Returned Sailors and Soldiers Imperial League of Australia. I've written about this in my December release. (In case you're wondering why I keep refering to it as my December release, it's because as I type I'm still unsure what the title of this book will be. I'm hoping it's not what was originally planned and desperately clinging to hope that there's a title change before publishing, however my publisher seems determinded to stick with a more marketable, chick lit type title that Marketing assures us will appeal to book buyers, more so than an actual title that reflects the heart wrenching story of a returned World War one digger and the description of life in small town rural Australia that surrounds this story line...) 

Anyway back to Alick.....


Unfortunately the RSL don't seem to be getting any further in their search than I have. 


I'm clinging to some kind of miracle that we will find some record, somewhere of the original burial site of this man who has come to mean so much to me over the last few years since I first heard this sad tale and knew I had to write a story about it. I would so dearly love to find this last, missing piece of the puzzle and finally give Alick and everyone associated with his story some kind of closure.  


While we were out exploring, I visited Gertie's grave and said hello. Poor Gertie, my heart really does go out to her and her family. It must have been truly horrific to deal with such an unexpected act of violence at the time. I hadn't done a great deal of research into the real Gertie, behind my character of Maggie in the book quite purposely. I wanted a fictional character, someone very different to Gertie as I felt a little callous if I portrayed Gertie as herself in what is essentially a fictional book, based on actual events. My story is very much fictional and my characters have a very different relationship to anything that we know through inquest reports and newspaper stories of the real Gertie and Alick. It just didn't feel right to create a fictional character based on Gertie. After I finished writing however, I did make it my mission to find out what Gertie had been like and discovered through talking with her family, the lovely Trisley's, who are still in the same house she grew up in, just what she had been like. By all accounts she was a beautiful young woman and it is absolutely gut wrenching to think of the circumstances in which she was taken away from her family.

I also went to visit both sets of my Grandparents while I was out there . There's a sad yet almost comforting feeling as you walk around out there, that you're surrounded by family and that's one of the reasons I love being back in my home town--I have roots here, a family history on both sides of my family that goes back to almost the original settlement in the area. It was so exciting to find so many fascinating things out about my family while researching this book, some of which I've included in the story as a little tribute to my ancestors. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed going back in time to research this book.

Another interesting thing I found today, while telling my son about my memories of my grandparents, I mentioned a particular grave site that has always stuck with me. As a child, we'd visit the cemetery with my mother to say hello to her parents, and I would pass by a small set of grave stones that even when I was young, always managed to bring tears to my eyes. 

I found them again today. 

Three tiny graves for three tiny babies who were born and died on the same day.

 These little triplets must have been a big deal at the time and sadly didn't survive. How different are things now? I'm not sure if these babies went to full term (more than likely not) but chances are they would have survived had they been born today instead of in 1919. We really do take so much in our lives for granted now days, don't we? It sometimes takes a walk around a cemetery to bring it home how lucky we are that modern medicine has allowed us to become almost blasé  about child birth and childhood diseases that once killed on a regular basis not all that long ago. 

Well, the search will go on for Alick and who knows maybe somewhere, we'll get lucky and find some clue...if not, then we'll have to be satisfied that he's out there somewhere, and I guess, deal with it! Although it bugs me to leave a mystery unsolved!

Karly. xx

This book began from a newspaper clipping from  1920. It was one of those moments when a story grabbed hold of me and WOULD NOT LET GO. Even worse than that, the actual REAL story behind the book refused to let go and so I ended up with a very strange situation. I had characters i'd invented...but I also had the ghosts of real people hovering over my shoulder as well.
 I didn't want to disrespect the real events of this tragedy or play down the incident, so I made up characters and gave them a romance that wasn't necessarily part of the actual event (in fact there is dispute as to if there was a romance at all in the real version).

Gertie Trisley, however, I deliberately avoided researching until I had finished writing. Considering Gertie was very much the innocent victim in the real life event that claimed her life--I felt it may be disrespectful of me to replicate her in a character for this book, and so, Maggie Abbott was created. Although she has some of Gertie's attributes; such as her beautiful nature and kind heart, the two women have nothing else in common. Gertie Trisley was said to be a beautiful pianist and played at many of the local dances around the district. She was kind and sweet and always willing to help wherever and whoever she could. It was a terrible loss to her family and my heart goes out to them, wondering how on earth they would have dealt with such a sad loss.

After a while it became hard to separate the real characters from the made up ones as I wrote the book. Especially since I had gotten to know not only my character but also the REAL Alick very well when I obtained actual letters written by Alick during his time fighting in WW1.

My character took on real traits from Alick Mclean and as a result, is very much a part of the book.
Through these letters I formed a bond with Alick Mclean. Knowing the terrible outcome of that night back in November 1920 I found it hard to believe the man who wrote these letters could be the same man who was responsible for such a horrific crime.
His letters back home to his mum and his sister were so full of Aussie larrikin and warmth that it was impossible not to like him.
He was also a hero and a well respected soldier, awarded a DCM (Distinguished Conduct Medal).
One of the letters in the collection was from his commander who wrote to him whilst he was in hospital recovering from the injuries that would eventually send him back home and end his war--the loss of his eye. It spoke of his commanders great respect and admiration for Alick as a soldier and also as a friend.
 Alick Mclean was well loved. Before the war he played football and he also sang and MC'd at church fundraising dances held at various halls around the district. He was thought of as an intelligent, quiet, well balanced man. From his letters while he was overseas, he always spoke well of his Mum and sister and always included a special note for his young niece, to whom he always sent his love.

This is what prompted me to write my book. There was so much more to this man.

What happened to Alick Mclean to turn him from a brave, well respected man from a loving family...into someone who could brutally kill a young woman and then take his own life?

I wish I could have given the real Alick and Gertie a love story--there was conflicting evidence about this in the inquest, following their deaths. Some say they had a brief relationship of some sort, while others say there was none. It made me sad to think there wasn't some kind of background that if not to justify, then at least provide some kind of  reason as to why it happened. This is why I wrote my book. I needed, (and that's probably selfish on my part) a way to make this somehow make some kind of sense.

I do not condone what Alex did--no one could, but I can't help but feel a need to try and tell a little bit of Alex's story too. The only portrayal of him is through the newspapers and rightly so considering the circumstances,  it paints a picture of a monster--a cold blooded killer who took a beautiful young woman's life and then ended his own.

But there was so much more to Alick Mclean. So much that lead up to this event. I felt a need to try and explain some of the circumstances that may or may not have led to that horrific event. It doesn't excuse it...it doesn't make him any less guilty...but this was Australia just after the most devastating and brutal war modern civilization had ever experienced. Over 61,900 Australian's lost their lives  and more than 152,000 were wounded. To simply survive this war, to come home alive, was amazing enough...to come home wounded, to have undergone sometimes primitive surgery and months of rehabilitation in Army hospitals...to simply come home and be expected to fit into normal, every day life after years of experiencing all that death and misery, was asking too much of these men.



There are days when I think I cannot stand to hear another scream, another grown man sobbing like a small child for his mother. Times when I can’t remember what it’s like to smell anything but blood and filth and death all around me .

Excerpt from the original manuscript Poppy's Dilemma. 


 This was a time when PTSD, now a condition which is taken seriously and soldiers are able to obtain help for, was labeled as shell shock and often looked down upon and persons thought of as weak if they suffered from it. Society of the time was a melting pot of disaster waiting to happen, especially in rural areas where men were often expected to simply, get on with it and no one spoke of anything that might bring about some kind of shame or scandal.

There were also other influencing factors at play in society following the first world war. All these men who had been away fighting for their country for so many years were now returning home to find they didn't necessarily have a job.

They went from having a purpose, being sent off by their communities with grand farewell dances and being written about in the paper like heroes, to coming home and discovering they no longer fitted in.
 
There was also a strong divide between the men who went away to fight and those who did not, causing unease and often leading to fighting and attacks between veterans and civilians.

There was so much more to the Alick Mclean, and while he couldn't tell his story, I hope that I've somehow given a small, albeit fictional glimpse, into his life as well as life in rural Australia during WW1.

Karly.